In the past, I have opined about the miseries visited upon those women who blithely take their husband's name at marriage, trusting in the "till death do us part" bit of the vows.
What's your name?
Well, originally my name was Suzanne Franks. Then I married someone, and just because I said I wanted to, my name became Suzanne HISLASTNAME. Ten years later, it took a lawyer and a court order and a "petition to retake former name" to go back to Suzanne Franks. And there's still a utility company and a credit bureau that thinks my social security number belongs to Suzanne HISLASTNAME. Let that be a lesson to you young women who think it's a good idea to change your name at marriage. Anyway - Suzanne Franks.
Imagine my dismay - nay, my complete and total state of not-happiness - when I logged into my online banking account this morning, only to be greeted thusly:
WELCOME, SUZANNE HISLASTNAME!
Teeth gnashing, I called Giant National Bank to demand an explanation. How was it that between yesterday and today I had gone from the blissful state of my real name to being identified as the property of my ex once again?
In this modern world of ours, it seems you can never leave your past behind. I once had an account with GNB during the time I was divorcing Mr. HisLastname. Eventually I closed that account and moved out to Kansas with Mr. Z, where I opened a new bank account with Smaller Bank, using my real, original name. Alas! GNB came along and swallowed up Smaller Bank. And now, some twelve years later, somewhere in the bowels of GNB's computer system, a microchip was feeling irritable. Still trying to digest my Smaller Bank account after all these years, it mixed in some stuff from the old GNB account and vomited up a blend of the two. The old married name for the overall account, replace the email address with one that's been defunct for a decade or more, use a mailing address from 1994 (but apply the address only to part of the account - use the current, actual address for the rest of the account), leave the name on the individual accounts and credit card as the real name - and call it a day.
Nice work, GNB. I totally trust your computers not to mess up my money. Although, if you'd like to find some of that cash from ten or fifteen years ago and dump it into my account now, I won't complain.